What am I most proud of?

The word “pride” immediately conjures images of inflated egos, fools, and complete narcissists. Often it is mistaken as vanity or a self inflated ego and is commonly referred to as “the root of all evil” in some philosophical and religious beliefs. It’s difficult to express pride of the self without actually having a good sense of self acceptance and being able to differentiate between inflated egos and undervalued sense of self.

I’ve put some thought into this post as, like anyone else, I don’t want to come across as egotistical or narcissistic although when I do reflect in the topic I’ve done things that I have every right to be proud of, even if it does mean I’m gloating a bit!

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A reflective account of 2018 and plans for 2019

This post is more than likely a bit belated, considering it is now February! Unfortunately I am signed off work at the moment and therefore shall be getting back in touch with my blog and intend to have more posts ready throughout the next 4 weeks that I’ll be stuck in the house!

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2017; a summary




I’m not usually sentimental although, for some reason, when Hogmanay and the new year comes around I can’t help but have a flurry of positive vibes. I’m so used to being stuck in a rut and full of negative emotions that new year just seems like an excellent place to start reflecting on yourself and look at areas you want to improve. It’s a cathartic experience to look back and see what you’ve done in the space of a year; your accomplishments, your successes, and all the things you’ve seen or been apart of. The motivation and encouragement the new year brings is something I intend to use to accomplish the things I want in 2018.

2017 – This year has been excellent for me in comparison to how my 2016 went! I have spent this year with the love of my life which has been spent planning out our future together. This was the year my boyfriend moved in with me and we bought our first house together; which we will be moving into at the end of January! We done some travelling and I saw my boyfriend compete in the Berlin skate marathon. I’ve been sticking to a mainly ketogenic diet and have felt so much better in myself.
I landed my dream job in forensic mental health and feel my skills and confidence as a psychiatric nurse have improved spectacularly. I’ve felt an immense amount of pride in myself and have been so positive through the majority of this year! I can feel myself becoming more confident and more like the person I want to be. I’ve adopted a new attitude for myself and my career and I feel overwhelmed with positivity that the following year has to be great!
Of course there has been negative events throughout the year but I prefer not to dwell when I am in such a cathartic state!

So what will 2018 bring? Obviously there will be the new house with my love, and loads of happy memories made in said house. There’s a lot I want to achieve this year. I’m sick of the humdrum wake up, work, come home, and sleep. Generally the shifts I do make it near impossible to have some sort of social life; this year I would like that to change. It’s not that I want to be a “better” version of myself but I want to be all that I know I can. There’s so much stuff I’ve been wanting to do but I live life with my head in the clouds and prefer to daydream rather than take action and do. Here’s a few things I want to get done in 2018!

Fitness and health
I’m sick of always being sick. For a long time I’ve been going to the respiratory and cardio respiratory clinic because I have chronic uncontrolled asthma. I’ve been on a whack tonne of medication for it and it basically runs my entire life. Some days re good and some days aren’t so good – I have been known to need to sit down after making my own bed! Every time I’ve been to these clinics I’ve always expressed my desire to run. There’s always so many videos and posts you see of people explaining their love and joy for running; yet here I am struggling to walk up a set of stairs! Whenever I’ve mentioned this it’s always been met with a “some people just can’t or won’t be able to run” and I completely get that I need to make sure my health is in check and I’m not putting myself at more of a risk for a respiratory arrest. I’ve come to terms that I might never be able to run without going into an attack but I want to be able to be fit. To be able to not ask people to slow down when I’m walking with them.
I, unfortunately, am also cursed with the dreaded lack of motivation and need to actually force myself up and out to do something. A lot of people think I love “relaxing” and “taking it easy” but the reality is I am utterly ashamed and mortified to be like this. So I am making 2018 the year of a massive
change! Weight loss would also be pretty nice but, again, a lot of the medication i take can make this pretty difficult so I’m focusing on health and fitness rather than my actual physique.

I want to be published and I’ve been writing a series of short horror stories. My goal for this year would be to finish this and receive at least one rejection letter. Would being published be good? Hell yes! But realistically I’m not going to get it done right away, and I’m not going to pretend I will. I want to remain pretty grounded and not get my hopes up and set myself up for disappointment. One of the main reasons behind me creating this blog was to expand my writing style and pick up some new skills with it!
That being said though I am in need of recruiting people who could proof read and give excellent constructive criticism -if you’re interested just drop me a comment!

I want to be more aware of myself and my emotions. One of my biggest attributes is empathy, which is also one of my biggest flaws. I put everyone before myself and I would like that to change. I worry about others and I care too much what people think about me, which is a great source of hidden anxiety for me. I don’t want to care what strangers think. I don’t want to believe I’m a bad person for wanting some time to myself. My entire career is made up of helping others during incredibly traumatic times and I need to be able to spend time in myself to maintain my role. I need to be more selfish, for my own sanity.

There’s a lot more 8 want to achieve but I’m sure you’ll find those out as the year, and my blogging, goes on. There is, however, some challenges I am taking part in this year that I will likely update you all on along the way! There’s a few other things I’m toying around with like monthly challenges -like trying a new hobby each month; but I can’t really think of any hobbies I desperately want to try.

365 challenge – I’m going to take a photo, or more, a day and upload it to my Instagram, I was inspired to do this by my boyfriend who completed it last year. He told me it’s made him think even more about what he is doing with his day, which I found pretty interesting. As a way to beat my unmotivated life it might make me think twice about doing nothing with my day! If you want to follow my progress on this check out my Instagram and follow me!

52 in 52 – I’m an avid reader, and always have been, this challenge is to ready 52 books in the space of 52 weeks. It’ll be fairly easy enough to do but I’m hoping some of my followers recommend some new and exciting authors for me to read! Plus it’s nice to see a challenge that you already know you’re going to complete!